Alex Toderica

Here is a little background about myself, and why exactly I chose to attend CSUF. It's interesting to think that out of all the places I could be right now, I just happened to be in the situation that I am now, isn't it? All of us have a story, and all of us have a past, now here I am telling you mine.

Let's start with the basics: I'm 100% Romanian, first generation American, born and raised in Boulder, CO. I am fluent in both English and Romanian, and am fully indulged in what both cultures have to offer. That being said, I am a European at heart, and with an athletic father my natural tendency was to strive for a lengthy career in soccer. 

With every move I made, and every decision following, my actions were focused on achieving the ultimate goal of becoming a professional soccer player. I transferred high schools for soccer. I lost friends for soccer. I drove over three hours a night at the age of 16 to make sure I played at the highest level for the Colorado Rapids MLS academy. I even sacrificed high school classes when I was blessed enough to be given the opportunity to train with the CO Rapids professional team on a daily basis from 9:00am-1:00pm (the only one to do it at my age at that time). After being offered a full ride scholarship to the NCAA D1 soccer powerhouse, University of Denver (DU), I tore my hamstring.

To go from being one of the best at my craft, to sitting the bench and watching others play, took a very hard tole on my self esteem, and my confidence. I fell into the classic "college kid" mentality. Let's just say I didn't know how to accept or cope with failure. I would drink a lot of alcohol, stay up late, attend parties during the weekdays, show up to team functions late, and act very unprofessional nearly every minute I attended DU. I lost a grip on why I was really there. I would work hard in training, don't get me wrong, but the off the field habits were what held me back. No matter how well I played in practice, and no matter how many people on the team supported me, the coaches saw me as a bad apple; broken goods. I had truly hit rock bottom in terms of my soccer career. They were right, I was broken, and I wasn't good.

I remember waking up one day after a long night of partying, and a thought had crossed my mind that struck me like a ton of bricks: "everybody else is partying and having fun, but Alex, you only have fun when you're playing (in games)...and you aren't playing (in games) right now. Is the fun from partying equivalent to the joy you get from playing?"

No

I called my dad, crying, and explained to him my situation. I had confessed my wrong doings in college, sought a councilor, and shortly after asked for my release from DU. I needed to move on and start fresh.

The best decision I have ever made.

Luckily, I had many connections in CO that were willing to put their names on the line for me, and I was able to get connected to the head coach of CSUF, George Kuntz. The minute I started talking to him on the phone, I knew that this was the school for me. I gave up drinking, I started a diet, I started individual training sessions, I did extra fitness, worked out on my own, befriended my new teammates, and have never felt so good as a whole; mind, body, and spirit.

This past summer (2015), going into the fall season, I tore my ACL in a game when I was pivoting to turn (no contact, nobody around me, just me, myself and I). This is an injury that takes about a year to fully heal after surgery. Currently I am 7 months out of surgery, and still cant play in contact games. If I hadn't gone through what I had at DU with my previous less extreme injury, my career would end the minute I tore my ACL in Fresno over the summer. ACL tears are an athletes absolute worst nightmare, and most people do NOT come back. With the experience I have gained from DU I apply consistently every single day throughout this recovery. I let myself fall into a deep and utter darkness in the past, and I remind myself every single day of the moment I got hit by a ton of bricks, realizing that I truly don't have any fun unless I'm playing the sport that I love for the people that I love, under the love God, a crowded stadium and bright lights. 

As I sit here reminiscing about my history and past decisions, I can only stress the importance of the positive effects they've had on my life. My goal of becoming a professional has never changed, but my dedication has wavered. If these events hadn't happened, if my past wasn't so rocky, I would have never found the strength to tackle any future obstacles in my way, including the one I'm currently dealing with. Whether it's soccer, school, family, faith or love, I've been given the set of tools needed to push through nearly anything. Maybe I don't have much job experience, but I do have "life" experience, and I say that proudly. Through all the turbulence I've been able to maintain a 3.0 GPA in college, and never fail a class. I'm sure that I'm not the smartest of all the apples, but I am definitely not rotten, and I am definitely not broken goods.